i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
