so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
