the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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