But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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