I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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