Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
