you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
