tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Mom said you looked used
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
