And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
