My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize