the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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