Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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