Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
