Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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