im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
