I'm really into asian looking animals
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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