Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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