I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize