so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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