In the future we'll all be gay
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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