I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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