I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
