yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Porn is love you can see.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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