I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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