Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
