sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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