i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
