You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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