i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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