My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
