I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do you still have your period?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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