Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
