Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
