I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i came on her dog
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
