mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
