update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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