we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
