I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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