You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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