a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The uberlube is also flammable
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
