i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
