ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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