I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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