oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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