Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
