No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
