In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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