I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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