They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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