so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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