Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
