she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
