Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize