I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
